Leadership and Pain

M. Scott Peck begins his classic book, The Road Less Traveled, with these words, "Life is difficult."

The writer of Job puts it another way, "Yet man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward" (Job 5: 7).

Pain is one of the common experiences of humanity. And so Peck goes on to explain that it is the avoidance of pain that is at the root of all psychological dysfunction. And I would add that it stands at the root of all relational dysfunction as well.

The classic example is the man who is frustrated at work. But since it is too scary to confront his boss, he comes home and yells at his wife, who then scolds her son, who kicks the dog.

All sorts of dysfunctional behavior can be explained using this paradigm. Addictions are often attempts at self-medicating: a way of numbing pain, rather than dealing with it. Codependency--focusing my mental and emotional energy on taking care of someone else's needs so that somehow they will take care of me and take away the pain of feeling unloved. Excessive anger--an attempt to push away the source of something that I perceive is making me feel weak or powerless--perhaps an attempt to feel in control when I feel out of control.

If this is true, then leaders have an especially hard time. Let me say that if "Life is difficult" then "Leadership is very difficult."

In 2 Timothy 2: 3-6, Paul gives three metaphors with four applications for leaders.

First, Paul tells Timothy to "join with me in suffering hardship" like a good soldier of Jesus Christ. Soldiers must endure all kinds of hardship in order to accomplish their mission. So, a leader must learn to bear up under pain and do his job.

Second, rather than get distracted by other pursuits, a soldier must be dedicated 100% to his job. Why? His focus is on pleasing his superior officer. He can't decide to go to a movie or sleep in when he is on duty. So a leader must learn to be dedicated and not get distracted.

Third, like an athlete competing in the games, he must undergo a strict regimen of training and diet. This is what Paul means by competing according to the rules. Thus a leader must learn to be disciplined (and especially must practice spiritual discipline). A leader who is performing the tasks of leadership without the underlying disciplines is headed for a big crash. It is like a flower that has been cut from the stem and placed in a vase with no more connection to the root--it may look fresh now, but it is destined to wither and die.

Fourth, the farmer only gets to share in a crop if he is hard-working. You cannot expect a crop to simply show up because you want it to. You must work the soil. Thus, leaders must learn to put their shoulder to the plow and work hard in order to produce fruit for the Kingdom.

For this reason, leadership is not just about natural talent. It is also about maturity. Only those who have applied themselves to the disciplines that produce spiritual growth will be in a place to sustain leadership over the long haul--because that involves experiencing the pain of life, not avoiding it, but enduring it so that it produces fruit.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" (Gal. 6: 9).

"Consider him (Jesus) who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart" (Heb. 12: 3).

"You have persevered and have endured hardship for my name, and have not grown weary" (Rev. 2: 3).